I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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