Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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