It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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