dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize