sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
