BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
