well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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