Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
