just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
