This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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