I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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