i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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