her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
