why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
