Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
