Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize