it wasn't lemon gatorade
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
