dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
