Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
