You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You left your phone here
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