i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
