when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize