im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize