Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
