Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This baby is an asshole
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize