I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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