The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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