What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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