apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
