Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
