He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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