mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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