they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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