The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
