uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I forget how to act sober
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