So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am available for nakedness
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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