I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
