Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
