That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
