So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
