She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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