I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
