i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
