allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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