That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
