All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
