You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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