ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am midnight drunk by noon
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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