Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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