I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
