I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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