the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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