trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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