I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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