The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
