now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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