Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
