He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
