She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
